Why am I a photographer?
Simply put, I suck at expressing myself in all other art forms.
I cannot draw or paint to save my life.
It takes a lot out of me to write and craft, but it comes out decent.
Photography comes naturally with ease.
I remember in my high school ceramics class I was to create a bowl.
This was my bowl:
I was asked what grade I felt I deserved, and I, without hesitation said an A!
Puzzled, my teacher told me to explain why.
I began… It’s not technically perfect but it is perfect to me and I like it which is all that matters.
He explained the directions were to create a smooth even bowl, which this clearly was not.
(I have never followed directions very well.)
I did start out following the directions and I did at one point have a smooth even bowl, and then it folded and fell over.
I could have smashed it up and started over but I didn’t.
It was unique, it said something about me.
I made this roughly 12 years ago and it has moved with me across the ocean and back. It is a reminder of many things. I also did get the A I felt I deserved. 🙂
Photography has rules, but photography is limitless and forgiving.
It took a lot of practice and soul searching and personally willing to put my all into every shot to be where I am.
I am a very closed person, I do not show my feelings, and certainly, keep my emotions locked up pretty tight.
Completely contradictory in what I aim to capture every single time I pick up my camera.
I want all the emotion to show, I want the viewer to FEEL the image not just look at it.
During my MFA Photography program, I was unconsciously forced me to learn about myself, understand who I am, and what I wanted to achieve.
One class, in particular, caused me to question why I chose to pursue this degree in the first place and where I wanted to go in life.
I stared at my bowl on my desk and realized I needed to go deeper and become vulnerable, and get over my fear of showing people that side of me.
I chose to be a photographer and use photography as an outlet because I don’t have to follow directions.
I can be authentically me every single time. Feeding my soul each time I pick up the camera.
Its been a while, but this raw personal post is a damn good blog circle come back!
Check out these posts next and let’s find out WHY they do what they do.